11. OSCAR PIASTRI - Part II

Oscar shook his head and huffed, turning off the phone on the call and throwing it on the bed.
“That idiot, what does he think? Going from one lover to another? Is he out of his mind? He could have come with him straight away, there was no need to drag me. Why the fuck did he bring me with him? He's an asshole! Let him get fucked by Carlos! He's become an asshole too since this summer, it seems like he has a problem with me. These four days are fucking torture! What the fuck am I doing here? I'm leaving tomorrow! I'll make up an excuse to the others and leave. Well, maybe Alex and George know…”
Thinking of them, George's voice rose from behind the closed door, followed by a knock. 
- Oscar, it's George. Will you let me in?
Oscar turned toward the door with a pout, unsure whether to let him in. He was afraid that that idiot Lando was there and had asked him to help get in. 
“As if that idiot could actually be out there for me! He's probably getting fucked by Carlos!” but then he realized he'd hung up on him. “Well, maybe he wanted to tell me, in a delayed manner, what shifts he was thinking of taking to fuck me and Carlos!”
He angrily approached the door, leaned his forehead against it, and, before opening it, asked, just to be sure: - Are you alone? 
- Yes… - George replied. 
- You’re not lying to me, are you?
And when George said: - Don’t worry. - he knew he could really trust him. He couldn't explain it, perhaps because he had a natural inclination toward him. 
He didn't mind him. Aside from Lando, George was the other person he'd have liked to have sex with. He'd be bottom with him. 
Blushing, he hardened his mouth before making up his mind. 
“Well, that idiot is also fucking Carlos with me here, why shouldn't I pay him back in the same coin?”
So saying, completely unaware of the relationship between George and Alex, Oscar opened the door. Seeing him alone, he smiled shyly and let him in, leaning against the doorframe as if suddenly unable to stand. 
What was he doing? 
George entered with his usual confidence, striding calmly into the beautiful, not-so-large but impeccably stylish room. 
His friend lost himself in admiration, nodding with satisfaction. 
- We chose well, going at random, huh? This Villa-Hotel is very beautiful. Each room has a small private garden with a pool and loungers and a small porch. Ours is like that too, but I think they're all…  
Oscar didn't let him finish, because, grabbing his arm, stopped him, turned him around, and cupped his face, leaning in with the insane and foolish intention of kissing him. 
He didn't want to lose the courage to do what was right; Lando deserved it. He deserved to feel exactly what he was feeling, and George was the only one he would willingly put his tongue in. 
He didn't even have to stand on tiptoe, because even though he was taller, they weren't that many inches apart. 
Oscar lunged at him and when his trembling mouth touched George’s, he stopped him in time before it became the biggest mistake of his life. 
Or so it seemed to Oscar. That he was stopping him for that and not for any other very valid reason. 
The end result was the same, however. 
George grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him away as soon as their lips touched, looking at him in shock and confusion. 
Realizing he'd just been rejected and had essentially made a colossal fool of himself, and probably ruined everything he could ruin, Oscar blushed violently, immediately released him, and rushed out of the room through the glass door that led directly to the pool. 
He almost fell in, too agitated and shocked to notice that the wooden ledge between the door and the water wasn't very wide, but George's firm and ready grip prevented him from making another fool of himself, one he certainly wouldn't have recovered from easily. 
Held back by his hand, which was squeezing his arm and pulling him to keep from falling into the water, Oscar looked at him with wide eyes, even redder than before and deeply mortified. 
He covered his face with his free hand in an almost aristocratic gesture, then turned his head away, straightened, and gently pushed him. He walked along the wooden ledge, seeking refuge in one of the two deckchairs at the end of the small garden enclosed by protective and decorative walls. 
- Sorry. - he barely muttered. 
George stood there, watching him through the glass door, perplexed and uncertain. 
Oscar didn't even dare look at him. He threw himself onto one of the two comfortable, padded deckchairs and curled up, hugging his knees, his back to him. 
He hoped it would all go away. He hoped it would all vanish. 
He just hoped it was a nightmare. A damn nightmare. 
“Close your eyes, open them again, and you'll find it was a fucking nightmare!”
But when he closed them and opened again, he found himself faced with the worried face of George crouched before him. His blue eyes were staring at him from a safe distance, but still far enough away to understand that he wasn't okay and make him uncomfortable. 
- Oscar, what's going on? Do you want to talk about it?  
Oscar bit his lip, feeling on edge. 
He shook his head, unable to speak. He was terrified that if he did, he would burst into tears like an idiot. 
George seemed to understand and simply sat down on his own deckchair, taking care not to touch him, even by accident. He remained there in silence, waiting for a long time, giving all the time he needed to gather his strength and courage to speak. 
Because it was obvious he wasn't going to leave without knowing something. 
"I should apologize properly." 
After biting his mouth and then his knees where he rested his face, trying to hide like a scared kitten, he decided to show his balls and take responsibility. 
He'd been an idiot, but it was Lando's fault. 
- Sorry, I didn't mean to put you in trouble. I don't know what happened to me, I was out of my mind. 
-  George nodded. 
- There’s no problem. I'm just with Alex and I'm happy with him… - obviously, from his point of view, it was legitimate to believe that he had simply made a pass at him. But, in himself, there had never been anything simple at all.
He shook his head and then nodded in confusion, frowning still not having the courage to look him in the face. He could feel him close, but he couldn't turn around yet. 
- I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm exasperated… - and although he had to force himself at first, the words slowly came out easily. Very easy and fluid. Much more than he'd imagined. 
- Lando’s driving me crazy. He's having sex with both me and Carlos, and now I don't know what the fuck is going through his head. He thinks he can switch between us whenever he wants, even taking us on vacation together? I don't know what he expects me to do. If Carlos is okay with it, good for him, but I'm out. This is my best! I agreed to share him with other partners because between him and me it's just sex and we don't owe each other anything, but this thing... I can't... 
And he didn't know why. Because while he was venting in a confused way, letting out all his growing agitation, Oscar realized that if it was just sex, he shouldn't be affected by what he did beyond his own bed. He could move from his to his next lover as he pleased. He owed him absolutely nothing. He had every right. They were just two friends fucking, he'd told that from the start. 
So what the fuck was the problem? Why was he opting out? 
When George remained silent, Oscar found the courage to turn and look at him, and when he did, he saw him sitting hunched forward, his elbows resting on long, thin legs, his gaze worried, serious, waiting for him to continue his outburst. 
He didn't laugh at him, nor was he shocked by what he was saying. Maybe he knew, in fact. 
- What did he tell you? - he asked then, realizing. George's lips curled downward, shaking his head. 
- He didn't say anything, Alex told me… 
Oscar straightened, remembering what he'd said when he came in: ‘Are you alone?’, ‘Don’t worry’.  The tone of someone who knew what he was referring to. 
He frowned, staring at him now straight ahead, his legs lowered. George did the same. 
- You didn't seem surprised when I asked if you were alone… and why did you come anyway? I thought Lando had asked you to intercede for… but what do I know! He's definitely having fun with Carlos. It's just that he was calling me and I didn't answer, then you showed up and I put the pieces together. 
He never spoke; he had to be asked to do so. Only when he was nervous did he do it. Or when he needed to vent. Since that had never happened before, he was literally discovering new sides of himself. 
- Oh, he happened in my room, but Alex had just told me about the mess he'd made, and seeing him in crisis, I realized he'd just made things worse and was looking for help. I put my hand in front of his face to silence him and came alone to find you. I don't know anything from him, I didn't let him talk. 
As he recounted the scene, Oscar imagined it. It was plausible and realistic. 
Then he recorded the rest. 
- What… what a mess? - he was suddenly confused. Had Lando vented to Alex? Why? Wasn't his brilliant plan to have both of his lovers comfortably in the same hotel and vacation? 
George sighed considering what to say, or maybe how, probably trying to be as gentle as possible. 
Finally he looked back at him, still straight and sitting next to him. 
- But first, explain to me why you tried to kiss me?  
Oscar blushed again, caught by surprise. 
He opened his mouth, gasped, closed it, bit it, looked away feeling on fire, and then made up his mind. 
- I wanted to pay Lando back in his own coin. If he's having sex with someone near me, why can't I? 
George nodded. He hoped it was enough, but he pursed his lips unconvinced. 
- But why me? 
- Wrong time, wrong place! - he hastily invented. He couldn't admit that he had a small, innocent crush on him, not after knowing he was happily with Alex and therefore they'd never have a chance. He wasn’t actually interested in him; it would have just been a whim or a way to get revenge on Lando. The point was that it was all about that idiot, so there was no point in explaining that little detail to him. 
George nodded accepting the explanation, finally deciding to tell him what he knew. 
- This vacation wasn't planned, it was an impromptu one. Carlos wanted to come with Lando, but Lando didn't want to upset you, so he dragged along the first people he could think of, along with you, making it look like a group trip.
Oscar began to feel vaguely better. Vaguely. Until he thought again. 
- He could have refused. Why did he accept? 
George shrugged.
- He wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to talk to both of you. Except Lando is Lando, he can't do things normally without causing harm. 
- In what sense ‘talk’? What does he have to tell us? Isn't he fucking him? - Oscar sensed something, something strange, something that didn't add up. He had to understand. Something was eluding him.
George's expression relaxed and he straightened, about to get up and leave. 
- You should hear it from him. - he said, pretending not to know. It was obvious he did know, though. 
- I don't want to. - he said harshly, turning away. George sat back down. 
- Huh? 
Oscar shook his head. 
- Fuck him. I don't care what he has to say! You don't do things like that! He grabs us at different times, days, and places and talks to us. You don't do things without thinking, randomly, as it happens. To hell with him! Go tell him that, if you can. I'm leaving for KL tomorrow, you can continue without me!
George remained silent for a while, searching for the best thing to say. It took him a while, so much so that Oscar turned to look at him in surprise, trying to understand what face he was making and why he wasn't speaking or leaving. 
George was still sitting next to him on his lounger, a neutral pose, his hands clasped between his legs, and he was waiting. He wasn't sure for what, not to find the right words to say. 
Maybe waiting to hear his own. 
And there, as he looked at him realizing what he was expecting, Oscar got up and went to the edge of the pool where he sat, dipping his bare feet and knees. 
George remained seated where he was, but turned toward him, less than a meter apart. 
Oscar lost himself in staring at the surface of the illuminated water, while the cool sensation on his feet gave him unexpected relief. 
He also immersed his hands in thoughtfully. 
Yes, he knew what George was waiting to hear. He knew perfectly well. 
But was he right? Was that what it was about? 
Wasn't it true that when he'd just realized Lando was with George and Alex and not Carlos, he'd felt happy? Wasn't it true that he'd wanted to know what he had to say to both of them? 
Wasn't it true that he'd felt happy at the possibility that Lando had finally chosen him? Wasn't it true that he'd been hoping for that? But what did he know? They'd never talked about feelings, it was ridiculous. 
Yes, he'd been jealous, dead jealous of him and Carlos, when he'd realized they were fucking and that maybe he was the mysterious boy Lando loved.
“I become human thanks to him, and then what do I do with this humanity? Who the fuck wants it?”
- I've never been in love and in the end I thought I wasn't capable of it. I can feel affection and care for my family, but love? I always thought it simply wasn't for me. I just accepted it. So when this thing with Lando happened, I was happy. He just wanted to fuck, I could only fuck. It was perfect. But then… 
His voice died in his throat, knotting up. 
- But then you fell in love with him? - George asked then, urging him to continue. Oscar felt a punch in the stomach and sighed, biting his mouth, his face twisted in a pained expression. It hurt. It hurt like hell to discover to be normal like that. 
- I think so. It's just that he fucks half the world, Carlos first, and I know he loves someone and I don't know who, I assume Carlos, and… 
- But look that it's not Carlos, and that's an old story! 
Oscar turned sharply toward George, who now seemed to be speaking with Lando's voice, but seeing that it was still him, he was stunned and uncomprehending. George, on the other hand, rolled his eyes and covered his face in exasperation. 
- Is it possible that he can't be normal? 
Oscar's eyes widened and George stood up walking toward the fake rock wall that divided the various private gardens. Once there he punched it, obviously not hard so as not to risk breaking it, given how thin the sound revealed it was. Much thinner than it looked. 
- Our room is next to your. And the garden too, obviously. And it seems these dividers don't actually provide the privacy guests expect... 
Oscar, realizing what had happened, stiffened and clutched like a madman at the edge of the pool where he was sitting, completely unable to move, walk, or even escape. 
- The idiot's there and he heard everything. - he then turned to the wall. - Imbecile, do you think that'll convince him to listen to you? 
- I’ll scream if I have to! Alex, come here, help me! - 
George went pale as Oscar sat paralyzed. 
For a moment, while something unidentifiable was happening behind him—a complete mess, with George threatened Lando with death if he hurt Alex by using him as a human ladder—Oscar’s mind shut down. 
He shut down completely. 
He imagined himself immersed in the water he was staring at, even though he was still physically sitting where he was. For a moment he saw nothing but water and heard nothing. The voices faded and everything became muffled. 
Lando had sensed that he loved him. Lando knew. And not only that. Lando had said he had misunderstood and that it wasn't true. 
Which part wasn't true? That he didn't love Carlos, but someone was. 
Old story? What did old story mean? About who? About what? 
Lando knew he loved him. 
But more than anything… 
“I love him. So it's true. I just said it out loud, it was the first time. I was able to say it because George was there, I trust him, he's a man who knows how to behave, and I like him enough to make me open up, but it was the first time I'd said it. I hadn't even said it to myself. I love him.”
As he repeated it to himself, Oscar heard nothing. He sensed nothing. 
Not the mess behind him, as Lando tried to climb over the plastic wall. Not his croaking voice saying who knows what. He no longer even sensed George or the water on his legs or the heat and humidity. 
“I'm human and normal, really, and… and what am I supposed to do with this normality now, if that idiot doesn't deserve me to fall in love with him for shit? Fuck him, I don't want to be that. I don't want to at all! Fuck him, he's not the right person, he's not ready, he'll never be, we'll never be good together. He'll never stop being an idiot.”
But while he was thinking this with the rationality that was trying to emerge as usual, the other part of him was shouting at him that now he loved too, loved like everyone else, that he wasn't really abnormal and weird, but normal and in love. 
In love with someone he had to push away for his own mental well-being, present and especially future. 
With Lando, things would only have gone downhill from then on. Sex was one thing, feelings quite another. It was fine for fucking and emptying balls, certainly not for having a real relationship. 
After some internal struggle, this last rational part of himself won, and with determination he turned sharply toward the chaos that suddenly returned, as if someone had removed the earplugs that had been stuffed inside. 
The chaos, the screams, the threats, and then there he was in his garden, on the shoulders of a hallucinating George, who ultimately had no choice but to help him to avoid seeing him crash to the ground and crack his head. 
As soon as he saw him, as soon as his eyes landed on Lando's desperate ones, who was strangling George, tearing his shirt off to keep from falling, instead of bursting into laughter like any normal human being would have done, Oscar stood up and with unprecedented determination, like an old-fashioned warrior with a sword in his hand and a solemn mission, thundered decisively: - You and I are done! 
With that he started to go into his room and lock himself in, leaving poor George alone, who certainly couldn't be stuck in there with the other idiot. 
He hadn't even reached the door when he felt Lando grab him by the arms, having jumped off George's shoulders. 
As soon as he felt his hands on him, holding back and crying: - Osc, wait, you have to listen to me... Oscar's vein closed. It closed for the first time in his life, and it happened dramatically. 
Without thinking, without even realizing it, acting completely on reflex, he turned toward him, grabbed him by the arms, and pulled him violently down and to the side. 
Lando, off balance and not expecting such a gesture of pure violence from him, ended up in the pool fully clothed without putting up the slightest resistance; and to a shocked George, Oscar locked himself in his room, leaving them outside. 

NOTE: The temptation to include a bit of innocent geoscar was too big and I gave in. I must say that Oscar sometimes looks at George in an absurd way, but in the end this insert is for personal enjoyment. From the photo of Lando of that garden, I imagined a lot of things. Thanks to everyone reading. Until next time. Kisses, Akane