*Lando's POV, late 2025 to July 2026.*

8. LANDO NORRIS

Lando realized he had deep and significant feelings for Oscar after he'd won the world championship, at the end of 2025. When he'd almost lost him. Or rather, when he'd actually thought he'd lost him. 
It had been a wild party because, obviously, Oscar hadn't come for understandable reasons; Charles had been there instead, and throughout the night, Lando had been terrified of ending up doing something with him, like jumping on him because he was too drunk. So he'd latched onto the first handsome boy who'd tried with him. 
He'd teased him all the night, dancing on top of him and caressing him lasciviously. He'd really played the whore, exactly as he'd wanted to do with Oscar, as he knew he'd like. 
He'd imagined having Oscar hold him and lift in his arms; and then, in the bathroom, when he got fucked, he’d forced the guy to squeeze his fingers into his hips while he banged passionately from behind. He'd said through his teeth, "Dig in your nails!" And he, disconcerted, had done it. 
At that point ecstasy had arrived, and Lando had managed to fantasize about having the only person he'd wanted there fucking him. 
And that person wasn't Charles. 
The name that had come out of his mouth as he moaned, was 'OSC'. 
He hadn't even bothered not to moan it out loud.
Afterward, there had been the anxiety of losing him. The anxiety that Oscar was mad at him for the world championship he'd stolen from him, and that everything had been ruined for good. 
Already at the end of the season, everything had been strange and tense between them. Lando had always understood that had to give him his space, aware that Oscar was special, that he'd gone from almost winning the world championship to losing it, and that this had certainly stirred up feelings that were difficult to assimilate, difficult to live with. Lando had done what he could, trying to help him without going against his own best interests as a driver, and in the end, in the grip of his own absolute happiness at a victory he'd never fully believed in, he'd lost control. 
And perhaps not just that. 
Once he'd regained his composure and the party was over, once he'd put down the drinks and returned to being his usual Lando, he'd realized that with something like this you could lose someone you loved. 
At that point, he'd been gripped by the most excruciating terror at having lost Oscar, and then he'd realized without a doubt that he felt something for him. 
What that was, it took him weeks to understand. 
At first, he thought it was feelings, vague things. Affection. 
He wasn't sure until, after the month of break between the end of the year and the start of the new one—a month full of dramatic ruminations—when they met at the factory to prepare for the new season, he saw Oscar again, who smiled at him and asked: - Hey, hi! Everything in fine?
Lando, as if he'd been accused of something with his back against the wall, jumped up like a spring. 
Obviously Oscar's question was perfectly normal, but Lando knew him and knew there was something else behind it. That he must have ground put strange feelings, especially since he hadn't shown up for a whole month, as if he were angry; so even if he seemed fine on the surface, Lando KNEW he wasn't.  
- Me!? You're the one who disappeared! I thought you hated me and didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore!
He almost shouted ‘You don't want to fuck me anymore!’ but luckily Oscar was quick to silence him and drag into a more private room to clarify. A gesture that obviously ignited Lando, who, with his usual ADHD, was easily distracted. 
- I thought you'd be the one to get in touch. It's weird that you disappear like that. I thought... I don't know, that you didn't want to anymore. I know you had fun with others at your party. And I don't know, maybe you and Carlos… - Oscar had no choice but to speak, and he did so in a chaotic, agitated way. It was strange to see him overwhelmed by such turbulent emotions.
Seeing and hearing him, Lando unexpectedly saw the cloud-dark sky open up, and there he saw a sea of wonderful stars. In all those stars he clearly read the truth he'd been searching for all month.  
"So he was jealous? SO HE LOVES ME TOO?"
And at that 'he too,' Lando went into shock.
"I love him. I love him too. I love Oscar too. And Charles? I don't know, but meanwhile, I love Oscar." 
He went into a sweet, chaotic panic, overwhelmed as always by everything he felt, which came unexpectedly and too powerfully to be simply tolerated or controlled. 
But just as he was about to jump around his neck and shower him with kisses, shouting that he loved him madly and that he was glad everything was okay between them, he abruptly remembered his warning about not falling in love because he didn't know how to love. 
He was jealous, but was he really, or was he seeing what was convenient, what he wanted because was the only one in love? 
Before doing anything, Lando decided it was best to see things more clearly, and for the moment he limited himself to mending tense relationships.
- Carlos has nothing to do with it, I felt like shit because I fucked someone else at my party. 
As soon as he explained it with his usual big, guilt-ridden puppy dog eyes, Oscar immediately melted like snow in the sun, as he always had every time he looked at him that way. 
- You don't have to, it was right that you had fun. 
- Aren’t you mad at me for this? - he asked hopefully, approaching him and placing his hands on his chest, as Oscar liked. 
- It’s all right, Lando. - he said, tilting the head to the side and welcoming him into his arms, taking Lando by the waist as if he'd been waiting for nothing else. 
With a thin, pleading voice, Lando continued, rising on tiptoe to seek his face. 
- How can I be sure?
Oscar smiled at him, full of the sweetness he'd always reserved only for him, then caressed his face. They gazed at each other intensely for a few moments, as if they were reading each other's minds. Lando was once again reassured that he was special to him and calmed down. 
Before answering, Oscar kissed him. 
- You’re an idiot, you could have told me you felt guilty for having fun without me. You don't have to. We're free to do what we want, right?
Not an easy answer to digest, much less translate. It was contradictory. He seemed to care about it like crazy, like he had feelings, yet then he kept him at arm's length as if he were nothing special. 
This confused him enormously.

Maybe when you realized you couldn't have someone, something clicked in your head. Maybe that's how Lando worked. 
When he realized he couldn't have Charles, he lost his mind over him, and the more he held back, the more he wanted him. Now the same thing was happening with Oscar. 
After he realized he'd never fall in love with him—at least that's what he said, even though Lando didn't believe anyone couldn't truly love, not someone so sweet to him like Oscar—something slowly began to click and change within himself. 
Despite the certainty that he still loved Charles, and that perhaps a part of him always would, he realized he also had deep feelings for Oscar. 
Was it possible to love two people at the same time? 
Yes, if they were two different loves. 
One was almost platonic and one-sided, never reciprocated, never explored, never cultivated. A sort of impossible secret dream. 
His Charles. 
The other was a more normal love because with Oscar he had exactly the kind of relationship he wanted with his boyfriend, and they did everything a couple did. They worked so damn well together. The only thing missing was talking about feelings, but every time they were there to do so, the memory of that morning when he'd told him he didn't know how to love, and when months later he'd explained it better, had always held him back. 
Even though Lando was convinced it wasn't true, there was always a part that held him back. What if that was the case? What if Oscar really couldn't love? 
Lando knew that if Oscar was capable, he would surely love him, but in that case why not tell him? 
He knew how to handle him, how to manipulate him, and how to get anything from him. From sex, to cuddles, to attention, to forgiveness. And if he wanted to get him to talk, he could, but he was obviously afraid he wouldn't like the truth Oscar'd tell him. 
"Maybe the condition for making me love you is not loving me. If they don't love me, I love them."
Lando knew it didn't make sense, but that's how he felt sometimes. It was frustrating. 
One certainty had taken root more and more in him. 
He loved both Charles and Oscar, albeit in different ways. 
Later, throwing himself into his newfound relationship with his teammate, he decided to take everything he could without reservation, convinced that sooner or later he would screw everything up with him too. 
Or maybe that even if they ever got together and Oscar asked him if he was the only guy in his life, Lando wouldn't have been able to lie and hide the fact that he still loved Charles. 

- What’s wrong with you? You should be happy with today’s pole, right? We’ve finally dethroned Mercedes! - Charles’ question came point-blank, startling him. 
He, Charles and Lewis were the top three qualifiers for the Hungarian race, Lando’s first pole. 
- Huh? - he asked shrilly as they stood up together to leave the press room after the usual conference. 
Lewis had already left answering the phone, leaving them alone.
- You don’t seem as happy as you should be, it’s a great result. The car is great, and you were perfect; tomorrow will definitely be your race! 
He could only say that because Lewis wasn’t listening. 
- The one who’s had eight wins here is him… - he said jokingly, nodding at Lewis who had already disappeared in front of them. Charles laughed conspiratorially. 
- McLaren has always been strong here in recent years. You know you have a great chance. What’s wrong with you?
Lando looked at him again, feeling deeply uncomfortable having that conversation with him. 
“Now what do I tell him?”
As they walked slowly after their FIA commitments, the two friends looked at each other, one inquisitive, the other in difficulty. When Lando had a problem, you could see it on his face; he was incapable of hiding any of his emotions, never, under any circumstances.  
- You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but… - Charles added delicately.  
And there, at the thought of putting a wall between them, Lando realized what the problem was anyway. 
- Well, you know about me and Oscar, right? Max must have told you… - he said without too much mystery. Charles nodded without surprise, almost as if he expected it to be that. 
At that point he shrugged. 
- I think I'm in love with him. - he said as if it were a grave sin, and Charles, after an initial impulse of sincere contentment, immediately stopped himself slowing down and forcing him to do the same. At that they looked at each other, standing just outside the FIA building, a bit secluded in the Paddock, chaotic as always, especially after qualifying on Saturday afternoon. 
- Why does it seem like a bad thing? 
Lando gave a guilty, sad smile; perhaps he was shocking, he could tell by the worried look Charles gave him. 
- Because the first thing he told me two years ago, when we started fucking, was that I shouldn't fall in love because he's incapable of feeling. That it had to be something purely physical.
Charles stiffened, frowning as if something wasn't right. 
- But you have a wonderful relationship. It's clear you adore each other, and he's different with you. He doesn't look at anyone the way he does with you.
Lando felt warm and stupid and confused. Most of all, confused. 
He was happy that this was evident from the outside and wanted to cling to the idea, but it was so strange and disturbing that Charles himself was saying it. 
- Yes, but it's not just that. I'm confused too; I have many feelings for other people. Maybe I'm not ready for something serious. If I'm not sure, there's no point in making a move. Maybe it's true that he has feelings now, but what if I'm not ready to devote myself solely to him? You know how I am, right? A crazy person... 
Lando started talking nonsense on purpose, to confuse him and prevent Charles from seeing things he didn't want him to see. Things he saw anyway, since he knew him well. 
- Well, if you're in love with him, you'll naturally want to be alone with him. Now you don't because you think he doesn't reciprocate and you have to console yourself with others... 
He had a way with words, he had to admit. Maybe he was right. 
“But the point is, as long as I have feelings for you, I wouldn't have the courage to look Oscar in the eye and tell him I love him, since he wouldn't be the only one in my heart.” 
Then Charles smiled at him and took his arm in a friendly squeeze before heading back towards the paddock. 
When he did, Lando's heart raced as usual and he smiled again with melancholy and a strange sense of guilt. A guilt he couldn't even express to himself. Was it a crime to love more than one person? 
- I think you should try... 
Lando shook his head, widening a smile that he knew was grotesque, especially since his smiles were usually known for being happy, carefree and radiant. 
- If I'm wrong and it goes badly, I'll make him suffer and that's not something I want. I could not care less about anyone else, but not him. Not Osc, you know? 
Charles looked at him with a sweetness he'd only seen directed at Max until then, and felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. 
- Yes, of course I understand. That's exactly why you should try. 
But he still wasn't sure. 
However, Lando was clear about one thing, now more than ever. 
He definitely couldn't do without Oscar right now. 
He didn't know how things would turn out between them, or whether Oscar truly had feelings for him, or whether his love was enough, or whether the love he still had for Charles would one day ruin everything and hurt the only person in the world he didn't want to hurt. 
But he knew that, for now, he couldn't do without him. 
Because as he headed to the McLaren motorhome for the Saturday night meeting, Lando felt torn in two, and he felt that way until he reached the meeting room where Oscar was waiting for him with the other members of the team. He, of course, had already changed. 
The two looked at each other, Oscar smiling with his usual spontaneous sweetness. A way he reserved absolutely only for him, a way he was familiar with and had become addicted to. Another doubt Lando knew he didn't have. 
"I'm special to him. For one person in the world I'm special. I don't know how or what he feels about me, but I'm fine with being special. And not for just anyone. For him. Him who is so special himself."
Lando smiled back with the same spontaneity, feeling immediately lightened and relieved from the heaviness of his soul he had felt moments before. As he greeted the others, he walked behind Oscar and touched his neck briefly tightening his grip. 
He felt him shiver at the contact and saw instinctively bend the head toward his hand, just before he removed it. They didn't allow themselves anything else, but when Lando sat down next to him, still in his suit that he hadn't had time to remove, he already felt light. 
“It's not a never, but a 'who knows, maybe someday.' We'll see how it goes. I definitely won't walk out of his life, that would be ridiculous. We both have feelings, what it is doesn't matter. And we're happy together, with what we have. For now, it's fine like this. As long as looking at him smile makes me feel better, touching him in some way or stealing kisses, caresses, and warmth from him, I don't think I need to change anything.”
Thinking this, he smiled at the others too, who had been waiting for him to begin the usual briefing, while he ran with his foot under the table in search of Oscar's. Once he found it, he hooked with his own, making him jump in the chair, tense briefly, and then relax and give him another fleeting sidelong smile. 
Yes, for now, it was fine like this. 
 

NOTE: The Hungarian GP 26 gave me ideas for this fic, which is where it all started. It was originally supposed to end like this, but then I came up with other chapters, so it'll end with 13. Charles' participation was a must and is always welcome (in my fics). Until next time. Kisses, Akane.

PS: I'll try to make the fanart of Lando meowing at Oscar for the final chapter; I hope it turns out decent.