39. IN JAPAN

/Max/

"Charles stands up and yawns, stretching his whole body. His shirt rises, revealing the lower part of his belly, where you can see the lines of his groin and even his veins, if you look closely. The ones that bring blood to his dick and then make it grow, nice, big and erect.
I bite my lips and suck them, barely holding back from grabbing the waistband of his comfortable, baggy pants, which fall ridiculously low showing so well those damned veins.
I can only look because we're all together and it would be a little out of place.
But I don't take my eyes off him and Charles is the only one who notices. In fact his eyes widen spontaneously and he lowers his arms, looking at himself, thinking something too much is exit.
No, darling. Not enough, maybe, but not too much.
When he realizes what was going on, he looks back at me with warning eyes that, suddenly and only for me, have become extraordinarily expressive and full of meaning. In response I wink at him like a good, provocative asshole.
I mean, you're the one who still hasn't shaken Pierre off and is somehow involved with someone he doesn't want to cheat on even if he doesn't want to be with.
I've solved my "problem." I managed to leave Daniel precisely so I could be free to jump on Charles. Pierre is your problem, dude, not mine. I can do exactly what the fuck I want and it just so happens that I want to fuck you.
You're free to refuse, but I'm free to try as hard as I fucking want!
Charles shakes his head and, pretending he hadn't had any exchange with me, speaks to the others still crowded together, playing the mega PlayStation tournament the old-fashioned way.
Sooner or later, it was to happen, but what better occasion than a typhoon hitting Japan, stranding us in the hotel all damn day and night, even preventing us from making the Saturday Qualifiers?
- Enough, I can't take it anymore. We've been on this thing for hours! My brain is exploding, I need to do something else!
As soon as he says it, Pierre responds completely spontaneously with a mischievous smile, but without stopping his game or taking his eyes off the screen.
- Available to do something else, if you want!
Hearing them, George completely messes up and goes off the road, Alex laughs but stays on the track, while Lando looks like he didn't even hear someone get up and speak.
Lucky him and his empty mind. I envy him every now and then, he reminds me of me before I discovered my gender. Maybe that's why we're becoming friends so easily!
Charles snorts pretending nothing's happening, carefully avoiding looking at me again, because I'd make one of those provocative faces that would drive him crazy.
- Do what you want! - he grumbles actually walking away. I'm about to get up and follow him, making the excuse of taking a piss, but Pierre suddenly stops the race and throws me the controller.
- Can you take my place, so you mind?
Actually, yes, but I can't tell him that.
Damn!
With that I'm about to sigh, but miraculously I hold back, simply adjusting my posture to take his place in the race Charles and I had just pulled out of.
- No, no way!
It's well known that I'd run all day.
George and Alex glance at me briefly, but say nothing and return to focusing on the race; before looking at the screen, I throw a frustrated glance at Charles's back joined immediately by Pierre. The two of them leave together in the elevator. I can't believe they're going to have sex. I was the one who wanted to do it with Charles! Me!
Damn Pierre! If you're so attached to him, how the hell am I supposed to take advantage of this damned typhoon and jump him?
Besides, I have to give him my birthday present and I'm sure I won't have a better opportunity than this weekend, or rather today. Even if we're three days early, I'll give it to him anyway.
But get away from him, damn it!
And you're not his boyfriend, imagine if you were!
- Dude, I thought you were more of a predator... you let him get snatched right from under your nose! He almost put it in your mouth!
When we're sure those two are gone, someone has the unfortunate idea of ​​speaking. Too bad he's the only one I didn't think even knew he was among the living.
Lando hasn't even taken his eyes off the screen, nor has he made a single mistake while running, but he's got a wicked grin plastered on his face that I want to wipe away now.
- How many people did you say that to exactly? No, just to know how many punches I can give you, you idiot!
My bark is directed at Alex, but I can still run well even though I'm not on sim like we're all used to. In fact, I'm the only one traveling with my portable station; they just bring their PlayStation without all the other equipment, so I've lowered myself to what they can do. It's weird driving like mere mortals, with a controller, but when you're a genius, you're a genius regardless of what you use.
Alex laughs recklessly and is saved only because George is next to me and not him.
- Well, I had to tell George, right?
- Sure, you think one of you doesn't know everything the other knows? Does he even tell you how his shit comes out of his ass? - I grumble annoyed at my colleague next to me, who responds with a formal and serious: - With a Plop!
And I don't want to laugh to show that in the end I'm not offended, but I give in when I hear Lando's vile laugh. By vile I mean the funniest and most absurd laugh I've ever heard and when he starts whistling, or making noises, or whatever he makes, I can't keep running impassively and have to pause the game to laugh too.
I do it by insulting them, but I do it.
- You're a bunch of assholes!
As I say this, I don't scare anyone even a little bit and in the end they keep spouting bullshit about poop and how they do it, until we somehow get back to Lando's pearl of wisdom, even though I don't know how the connection between Charles and shit comes up. You can say anything about that little prince, except that he's associated with shit.
- It's not about being a predator! What the hell is the point of handing himself so blatantly if his boyfriend is here too? He obviously assumes he was referring to him! When Charles wants to provoke me, he knows how to do it and believe me, he doesn't do it in front of others!
That last one slipped out because when I relax with people I start to consider friends, I don't even activate that quarter of a neuron in my brain.
- Oh yeah? And how would he do it, shall we hear it? I'm curious to know!
Of course everyone starts teasing me about it and the competition goes like a total disaster, so much so that I huff and puff, scratching my head, messing it up like a mangy dog ​​with fleas. I look crazy and maybe I am.
I sigh and look at them trying to downplay the matter not knowing how to avoid saying too much.
Then, when I realize I don't know how to avoid saying too much, I slam it all and spill the beans.
Not that there's much to say, anyway.
- First, he waits until we're alone. And then he waits for a different atmosphere than the chaotic one during the day.
- You mean at night, then? - George specifies with a schoolmarm look that I wish I could erase. I hate nerds. I've always bullied them!
But I hold back. If these assholes become my friends, I wouldn't mind, after all.
- Even during the day, but there shouldn't be anyone to bother us. - I think back to when he hugged me after his victory in Belgium. We weren't exactly isolated there, it wasn't calm and it was daytime.
- But has it ever happened during the day? - George insists convinced I'm just talking nonsense.
In the end I can only be honest, as always. Imagine if my tongue could lie.
- Yes, but that's beside the point anyway! There has to be a certain atmosphere! - I insist annoyed by I don't even know what.
- Yes, whatever. - George finally says realizing we'll never get over this. - And then what?
At this point, I'm already regretting having given in to the confidences. What are we, fifteen years old?
Despite myself, I continue, my nerves on edge.
- And if we're not sober it's better, but not essential. 
- So you must be drunk! Wait, what does this remind me of? - this ironic emphasis is even more irritating than the others and at this point I cross my arms and twist my torso to look annoyed at George next to me.
- So, shall we stop being a pain in the ass?
- What am I doing? - asks the Englishman from Williams, spreading his hands with a feigned innocent air. He opens his big blue eyes wide.
- You stop it and I won't shove this down your throat! -
with that I raise my clenched fist and he purses his lips, trying not to laugh. On the other side, Lando is doing it with impunity. I throw a pillow from under my ass at him, but he takes it and presses his face into it, continuing to laugh. Now I'm going to suffocate him!
- He does it even when sober. - I specify annoyed.
- But then he does what? What the hell are we talking about? Did something happen between you or not? I assumed not! - Alex speaks passing George, who is unable to speak if he wants to keep his mouth intact.
I huff and shrug leaning back in annoyance, look up at the ceiling of the TV room we've arbitrarily occupied. It's just us F1 guys in the hotel this week, so we can be relatively safe.
We could have stayed in George and Alex's room, actually, but this TV is huge and there's more space here.
- No, nothing happened in the way you're expecting, but something did happen compared to how we were used to dealing with each other.
- You mean, hating you? - and again George dares to speak again, but this time he says something right and so it doesn't irritate me. I instinctively glare at him and he again widens his eyes to understand what's wrong, but in the end I change my mind and nod.
- Yes, hating each other.
Lando stops laughing and leans over the other side of the couch and looks at me with a questioning expression, like someone who just can't keep up with me anymore.
- But can't you make it simple for me? - he begs. I roll my eyes.
I correct myself, this is worse than me before losing myself in Daniel's big, perfect cock!
- At a certain point, this interest began. There were exchanges where there was always a certain atmosphere, things that would be nothing to anyone, but for us, who are used to hating each other, it's definitely something.
I can only draw it any simpler. At this, Lando nods.
- And now what point have you reached? - he asks as if he's suddenly an expert.
I'm not blushing because I'm not an unaware child, but I'm really pissed off, because it burns me to give this answer.
- But what point? We just hugged. - Then, realizing it sounds pathetic, I add without thinking: - And he smelled my neck!
But only after I say it do I realize it. By their looks.
George, Alex and Lando all three lean forward at the same time and stare at me, convinced they've misunderstood. Indeed, I expressed myself poorly. Or rather not very well. As always.
- He smelled your neck?! - they all chorus. If I had three punches, I'd throw them all at him at once.
I snort and look up, irritated to the nth degree.
- Yes, he likes my perfume! In Monza, the night before the race, we bumped into each other. We were both hallucinating separately and we consoled each other. I hugged him and he stayed there until he sniffed my neck. - I pause lowering my tone and my gaze, as if I were going back there again, to that magical night in Monza. Then, without realizing it or really meaning to, I add softly and quietly: - We were about to kiss, I think. 
At the strange silence I receive, I look at them to see what's wrong and I jump in my seat frightened, watching them stare at me with wide, interested eyes, as if they were hanging on my every word.
Of all the things I'd thought I could do, I never imagined I'd end up confiding such things to those three. But then again, apart from Daniel, I've never had anyone in F1. Or in any other category either. I've never had any real connection with anyone in the competitions. The best has always been Charles, but as the best rival and the most hated.
But I don't think this trust thing is bad. I'd already experienced it by chance with Alex, maybe that's why I'm inclined to do it now. After all it's useful. Not hearing the opinions of others whose I don't give a damn about what they think, but expressing me out loud to someone, which clarifies my ideas and does me good. Hearing my own voice say it.
- And at his party? We had left you alone at the end, he was drunk and done and I don't think you were better.
I'm actually surprised Charles hasn't told him everything already, though knowing him it's more likely they asked and he glossed over it with his typical skill.
- He was too drunk. We had dirty talk and then he told me he wanted to fuck me but couldn't stand up, so I took him to the hotel and made sure he ended up lying down in bed. There he sniffed my neck again, while he tried unsuccessfully to unzip my pants. Then he collapsed.
It sounds like nothing, but I know it's a lot for him, especially because he spends all his time controlling himself, suffocating, hiding and seeing what it would be like if he let himself go. It drives me crazy.
I want him too much. But sober.
- Dirty talk? I can't even imagine! He always seems so composed! Even that night, when he was dancing and laughing, it seemed strange to me. Then I lost sight of him because of Carlos!
And we already know everything about Carlos. Even the length of his dick. Lando is a guy who shares too much. But Alex responds to Lando, who finally stopped laughing like before and instead seemed strangely serious.
- Charles was very cheerful and sunny as a child. He was very different from how he ’s now. Now he's composed and mostly serious, focused on his duties, which come before everything else. - Alex's knowledge of Charles strikes me and suddenly I look at him, hanging on. We've talked about it before, but it always strikes me. I missed the most shocking part of Charles. The precise moment of his change.
- His father's death? - Lando, as everyone probably, knows his stuff all too well.
Alex nods and George intervenes.
- And Jules Bianchi. He was very close to him, too.
Alex continues: - Pierre lived through those terrible moments more than we did; he was always like a brother to him. They've always been very close.
I don't know why he says that and maybe he doesn't know it himself. Maybe a reminder for me.
- If they've become close now, whatever the reason, yet another loss, I don't know if there'll be a way to separate them. - George is cruel in his unfiltered honesty. As always. Alex looks at him surprised that he'd say such a thing, while Lando muses to himself.
I frown suddenly neither happy to confide nor embarrassed. I'm just down. It's like a punch in the face. I never expected it.
More than anything, I never expected to hear this truth in my face.
Because it's true. It's exactly as he says, in fact.
It's terribly true and it's exactly what's dug into me like a little cancer I didn't want to notice because it's uncomfortable, annoying and frustrating. Because I wouldn't know how to remove it. So it's better to pretend nothing happened.
But his words force me to look at it, that little cancer.
It's true. He's right. There's a damned possibility these two will never break up again.
Charles had written it off as a mistake he realized too late and didn't know how, but wanted to fix. We talked about it in Monza, I remember it very well.
But maybe he was wrong and now they're still together because he realizes it's the right evolution of their relationship. As Pierre has believed practically forever.
- Has Charles ever confided anything to anyone? - Lando suddenly asks, still serious and interested. It's strange to see him like this because he seems like a kid who's only ready to laugh and say stupid things, which I adore about him, but in reality he has these moments of maturity that he doesn't seem capable of.
- Anything! You see him in the group too, don't you? 
Lando shrugs.
- Yes, but maybe he talked to you, who knows!
- No, he doesn't confide to anyone. He only confides with Pierre, from what I know.
And stop saying that! I roll my eyes painfully and suddenly lean back against the seat, unable to look at them any longer. I feel suffocated, I have to go, too bad the typhoon makes it impossible to get out. But how much the fuck would it do me good to run in a car now, a real one?
To run and not think, to escape these fucking shitty thoughts. How the hell did I get myself into this?
I just want to fuck him, what the hell does all this bullshit have to do with me?
- Anyway, I doubt you want anything else from him but to fuck him! - at this outburst from Lando, I look at him in amazement through the heads of George and Alex sitting between us. He leans forward to look at me and see what I'm thinking. I immediately nod with a predictable air.
- Of course! I just want to fuck him!
Lando shrugs, his eyes widening.
- So what do you care about Pierre and all the associated matters? If he told you he'd fuck you when he was drunk, trust me he'd do it when he was sober, he's just too in control for that. But that doesn't mean he'll never do it. If someone wants something, they want it no matter what. They may think it's better not to or decide they can't do it for who knows what, but the reality is that anyone who wants to fuck someone else, if put in the right situation, will eventually do it without a care in the world! And I say this from firsthand experience!
With this long but interesting monologue, Lando concludes with a satisfied, suggestive smile and it's here, in this meaningful exchange of glances from a distance, that I realize I've found him.
My mate, a friend. A person who is just that, without any other implications.
Lando understood me perfectly and said exactly what I wanted to hear.
- Oh yeah, fuck. Pierre is Charles's fucking problem, not mine. I just want to fuck him, I know he wants it too. That's the only thing that matters to me and that's what I'll somehow get.
- His cock? - Alex says quickly switching between modes without hesitation.
- His ass! - I specify implying that I'll never be the bottom!
- Oh, why, do you think Charles will be the bottom? How cute! - George is once again irritating me with his fucking truths and to avoid actually punching him, I put my hand in his face and stand up, telling him to go fuck himself.
- Fuck you, Russel! Albon, will you take care of him for me, please? A favor from a teammate?
As I grunt I walk away and George replies in the same know-it-all tone: - Oh, why, do you think Alex fucks me? How cute! 
At this I reply with a middle finger and a chorus of laughter rises from the couch I've abandoned. Before disappearing into the elevator and going upstairs, I give them one last look and it's Lando I linger over.
I've discovered a good relationship with them too and I'm happy about it. I wasn't expecting it and above all, I didn't think I needed it or that I liked it so much, even though I'd already experienced something similar with Daniel, before I fucked with him.
I have to say Lando has something extra; he's just like me in a certain way. He has something that allows him to understand me better than the others, who are more friendly with Charles and understand him better.
As I step into the tin cockpit that opens, a surprised and satisfied smile plays on my lips.
After all, not a completely wasted afternoon.”

NOTES: Have mercy, I'm not a gamer, I have no idea how they could have raced online that afternoon, but I know they did. I don't know if they played in some room or there as I wrote, but that detail doesn't matter. And it's true that they couldn't qualify that Saturday in Japan because there was a typhoon. It's known that initially they weren't a real group, or rather: Alex, George and Charles were, as were Alex, George and Lando, so once they were all together in F1, the quartet easily reunited. Max wasn't really part of that group, but he became one (partially) over the seasons, so I thought I had to include this aspect, which I think is important for his growth. It's known that he and Lando later became very good friends, so I didn't invent anything.
And... I finished writing the entire fic and it has 150 chapters (plus the prologue). I'll try to post at least one chapter a week. I'll do my best to speed up, but since I work and have commitments, I can't always guarantee regularity. I hope you'll continue to follow me because, as I said, now the really interesting part begins. Thanks to everyone who reads. Kisses, Akane.